Mindlessly walking into shadow work is as precarious as stumbling barefoot through a dark forest. Strange noises, tangled roots to trip over, and thorny brambles nipping at your ankles. It’s easy to lose your way, or fall prey to the many dangers of an uncharted territory.
I encountered the phrase “shadow work” dozens of time throughout my magical practice before I started to question what it meant. It’s used so often, you begin to feel like you missed a beginner lesson somewhere. How does everyone seem to know what shadow work is? What is the shadow anyway, and why would I need to work on it? It’s just chillin there minding its own business, it can’t help that I’m blocking the light and creating it.
So let’s take a moment to unpack the phrase a bit. You can’t do the work without knowing what it is you’re working on, after all.
What is the shadow?
shadow (n.) Middle English shadwe, from Old English sceadwe, sceaduwe “shade, the effect of interception of sunlight; dark image cast by someone or something when interposed between an object and a source of light“
etymonline.com
We’re all familiar with the physical shadow cast on the ground by us. In the phrase “shadow work” the shadow that is being referred to is part of the subconscious mind and functions in a similar symbolic way.
The term “shadow” was coined by 20th century Swiss psychiatrist and psychoanalyst, Carl Gustav Jung, who would later come to be known as the founder of analytical psychology.
(If you want more of a deep dive on Jung, check out Panthera The Feralwood Witch’s blog here!)
Jung believed the human mind consisted of many parts including (but not limited to) the persona, the self and the shadow. Essentially the persona is a mask we put on to survive as social creatures. This often will highlight what we perceive as our best traits, the ones that help us excel or succeed in our social environment. Our “self” or consciousness is ever-present, passively observing while we parade around as our silly little personas. This is the “you” that is watching and observing your thoughts and emotions. Our consciousness is driving the car: present for everything, but not always understanding what it’s absorbing.
Behind this consciousness is our subconscious, a deep murky part of our mind that is always on. The subconscious rules the dream world and can also subtly impact our conscious behavior without us realizing it. This is where the shadow lies.
In our subconscious rests all the symbols, colors, sounds, associations and repressions of our daily life. We carry it here, and it compounds on itself throughout our entire existence. It is always on, soaking in every little detail. It is also home to the parts of ourselves that wish to hide from others. We hide certain traits from the “light” so that no one can see them. We push these undesirable traits into the shadows.
I think it’s worth mentioning that although Jung coined the term “shadow work” and popularized it in modern Western culture, he certainly didn’t invent the idea behind the term. Journeying into the underworld only to be met with the dark and sometimes nasty parts of the self is by no means a new concept. The Illiad and the Odyssey, anyone? Many indigenous people have practiced inner work that would now be recognized as “shadow work” throughout history. Shamanism is something that comes to mind immediately as a long-held traditional practice of facing, healing & integrating the deeper and darker parts of ourselves.
Where does the shadow come from?
There is a large school of thought that teaches that the shadow is born in our early childhood as we learned that certain aspects of our personality received reactions of shame, anger and punishment. This often starts in the home with how your family responds to your behaviors, and is compounded as we begin experiencing the larger outer world as individuals.
We do not want to feel fear, pain or shame, so behaviors or traits that cause these reactions we will start to repress or hide. Repression of emotions is a root cause of so many problems we face in our society, but we can talk about that another day.
Examples of scenarios that may cause repression / the shadow to grow:
- asking a parent for money, but due to financial issues the parent reacts with stress or anger
- shamed for being caught masturbating or expressing sexual interests
- embarrassed in front of the class by a teacher for getting an answer wrong
- laughed at when you ask someone on a date
- punished and/or yelled at for crying
Each of these scenarios might teach an innocent mind that expressing these parts of themselves is an unsafe thing to do, and we must hide this in order to “survive” our environment better. You will cry less, you will feel shame for being aroused, you will associate “needing” things with punishment and rejection, and so on. In order to avoid feeling the pain, you begin to pack away the parts of yourself that might cause someone to reject or shame you. This is not a conscious decision, this is merely one of the brain’s many survival mechanisms.
Over time the shadow self will grow, and because it is hidden away in the subconscious mind, a secret even to ourselves, it may begin to wreak havoc on your life. The more we repress or resist something, the bigger and louder it tends to make itself so that it can be heard. This can result in some very messy situations in your life, and will often show up as a pattern as well until you integrate and accept this repressed part of yourself.
Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.
Carl Jung
Batman is an absolutely fantastic example of the shadow vs the ego. Bruce Wayne is the ego, striving to be his idealized version of himself in the literal mask/persona (or possibly superego) of Batman, who is here to bring order to the treacherous streets of Gotham. Batman is confronted by the chaotic force of the Joker, who (at least in the Dark Knight version) wants to influence Batman’s behavior for his own purposes.
What is shadow work?
Now we get to the fun part of this deep dive! We’ve had the appetizers, let’s get to the meat and potatoes! Now that we understand our what our shadow is on a psychological level, it’s time to work on it.
Shadow work is an introspective psychological practice of working with the unconscious mind to uncover the hidden parts of the self that have been repressed. It’s the process of exploring the aspects of the self that a person hides, ignores or dislikes.
The ego actively resists the shadow, and does not want to be what has been banished into the shadow realm. This creates a cycle of denial and repression. And because the shadow is hidden, it is unsupervised, and can run around causing all kinds of chaos, wreaking quite a bit of havoc on the person and their relationships. Shadow work is actively facing the difficult and “unwanted” parts of our personality, and embracing them with the ultimate goal of shadow integration. Shadow work is a lifelong process. It’s a commitment to your mental health, and wholeness.
There’s another messy layer to the shadow as well, in that because the Ego wants so badly NOT to be associated with any of the Shadow, but the Shadow wants so badly to be heard and seen, the Ego triggers a defense mechanism wherein it begins to project these shadow traits onto others around you. The ego misinterprets what comes from within as coming from outside. The call is LITERALLY coming from inside the house. Blame shifting, shame dumping and projection is much easier for the Ego to deal with. This is often when we find ourselves having our most judgmental thoughts about people around us.
Projection is one of the nastiest parts of the Shadow because in my experience it causes the most problems, disruptions and explosions in your relationships, friendships and interactions with other people. Whenever I catch myself turning my nose up at someone, scoffing at their behavior, or having any sort of strong emotional reaction, I often stop to ask myself why am I feeling this way. Am I like them? Am I worried about being perceived as I am perceiving them?
The day you realize that others’ judgments are simply a projection of their unhealed parts is the day you no longer take anything personally.
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So the next question in your shadow work journey should now be: How do I recognize my shadow?
A great place to start is the next time you have a very strong, irrational & emotional reaction. If you find yourself having an angry outburst, or bursting into tears after a strange argument with a friend, then you’re probably in a very good place (unfortunately) to start digging in. Hey, no one ever said shadow work was fun (and if they did, they are a dirty, dirty liar.)
Shadow work actually sucks LMAO but healing yourself is necessary not only for your individual good, but for the collective good as well. The more individual work we do to heal ourselves, then we’ll all be contributing to a collective shift that will help our little human soul family.
That being said, here’s my lil disclaimer before we go any further
I don’t recommend shadow work for the faint of heart. It’s gritty, dirty, painful, and involves a lot of opening old wounds and traumas, while making active effort to try to rewire your brain. I’m not a doctor or anything, but I’ve heard shadow work compared to CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) more than once, which is a practice employed by mental health professionals that is focused around the idea that thoughts, emotions and behaviors are influencing the other which can get people locked into unhealthy trauma responses. In other words: shadow work is frequently compared to a regularly practiced method used by trained mental health experts to treat a variety of mental health disorders. You shouldn’t go into shadow work lightly, it could even potentially be psychologically harmful to you. Please do your due diligence and take care of yourself. Seek out a mental health professional if it’s in your means to do so.
Okay, so really… how do I recognize my shadow?
So you’ve just had a nice lil cry session over an irrational reaction you had to an innocuous comment made by your friend, and now you’re ready to Unpack That Shit™
Or maybe you haven’t had an Episode™ at all; but you’re perfectly capable of pondering the concept of shame. It’s time to employ the good old Socratic method and start asking yourself some probing questions to unroot and detangle this feeling.
Here are some questions (and possibly shadow work journal prompts??) to get you started:
- When is the last time I felt ashamed of myself?
- What am I addicted to?
- What am I distracting myself from?
- Reflecting back to your childhood, is there something that makes me extremely angry or sad still to this day?
- Who haven’t I forgiven? Why haven’t I forgiven them? What can’t I let go of? What does this say about me?
- What did childhood me need the most?
- Is that really how it went, or is that just how I want to remember it?
- What parts of myself do I see in the person I’m criticizing?
- What is my most toxic trait I can admit to?
- When is the last time I felt rejected? Why am I afraid of being rejected?
These prompts are great places to begin with identifying some of your shadow aspects. Like I said, it’s messy work and generally speaking these are things we would rather stay hidden and not deal with. When I’m doing dreamwork through dream journaling and analyzing recurring symbols, I often find myself thinking “actually maybe this stuff is buried in my subconscious for a reason” 😬
(I can do a whole deep dive on shadow work relating to dream journaling & dream work, let me know in a comment or on social media if you’re interested in that!)
Here’s another little exercise for you
Below is a list of traits that are generally thought of as “bad” or “negative.” Which of these words pops out the most to you as something you really don’t want to be seen as. Something you work really hard not to be. This might also highlight some good jumping points in your spelunking adventure into your subconscious shadow.
Why Should I do Shadow Work? What are the benefits?
We should all strive to incorporate some form of shadow work into our daily lives because by the nature of the shadow: we are repressing and hiding pieces of ourselves. We begin to feel like part of us is lost, or that we are no longer ourselves. This can cause us to have lingering feelings that we are incomplete, or broken. But we aren’t, and we can heal this!
Shadow Work is a difficult but rewarding practice that has a multitude of benefits:
- better mental health
- more self awareness
- breaks the cycle
- helps you find the root cause of problems and traumas
- more confidence to be your true self
- improves self esteem
- releases stagnant, painful energy
- improves relationships
- heals the collective
- frees you from limitations based in fear/shame
- increases empathy and compassion
- deeper love and acceptance of yourself
- you feel like you’re “leveling up” and making progress in your life
- releases old patterns and relationships, which will bring new situations and experiences into your life
- improves your creativity
- discover your hidden talents
- awakens a sense of inner freedom
- empowering
- confidence in your ability to set boundaries
Shadow Work isn’t all Darkness (final thoughts)
Walking away from a conversation about shadow work can often leave you with heavier feelings of shame because you’re digging into parts of yourself that have held on to these emotions for so long. I really think it’s important to stress that the purpose of shadow work isn’t blaming yourself. Having a shadow doesn’t make you a bad person. Feeling shame is natural and human. (unfortunately lol)
Through shadow work, our goal should be on encouraging ourselves to have the power to show up, look in the mirror, and give love what we see without judgment. We want to be aware and present for our full self, including all the awkward scars, stretch marks, bulges and imperfections: but we don’t want to identify as these things. We are the whole entity, not the minute detail.
Feel what you feel, let it hurt, and then let it go.
Shadow work may be messy, but the ultimate goal is acceptance and integration. It should ultimately be liberating. It’s okay to be misunderstood. The shadowy depths may be scary and “unknown” but it’s in these spaces that we often find the most growth. You gotta take a Fool’s Leap of Faith into the darkness, and trust that you’ve got this. Give yourself permission to release and feel good.